Greatest is LOVE!

*does happy dance around the room*

I am so happy to be back!! *hugs to all* And much sooner than I thought only 2 weeks. I also had to install Firefox because my IE is to fucked up to use at all. I guess the driver for my internet card was all fucked up. At least that is what my mom's friend that fixed it said.

So what has been going on with all of you. Any thing new, exciting, or fun? How about to read? I feel a little overwhelmed when I think about all that I have missed. I will be reading journals, or at least looking at them. I really don't have a lot of time right now. I am working two jobs, and I am getting a lot of hours at my second job.

Let me know what is going on and I will try to ketch up.

I love you all and I am so happy to be back!!

OMG It looks live that it will be another month until I get my computer back. I actually have mixed feelings about not having my computer for so long. I have really enjoyed the time that I have spent with my family, so even when I do get it back I don't think (I hope) that I will be on it all the time. On the other hand I miss my f-list. So much has happened that I have wanted to share with you all and have not been able to. I have reconciled with my mom. Wednesday we had a real conversation, not one with me just asking her to fix my computer.

I have also rediscovered the joy of reading something that is not found on my computer. It has been great to just curl up next to my hubby and read a good book. OMG Has any one read The Kiss by Kathryn Harrison. It is very well written and very disturbing. If you get a chance you all should read it.

Pre-school is ending in two weeks. I am a little sad, but also happy. I love teaching, and I am good at it. I have been told that I am to good for the center that I work at. I have been thinking that maybe I should look for something else that pays better. It is not very likely that I will make more than I am making now there, and really I am afraid that I will turn out like so many of the teachers there and not put forth the effort to be a good teacher.

I need to be going now. I love and miss you all so much!!
*lots of hugs to all*

I am still a live and mostly well. I have been having some big computer problems. I think that I may have them fixed soon. It may have something to do with internet explorer 8. I am going to try to upload 7, and I hope that it will fix the problem. If not I will be begging every computer geek I know for help.

I am so far behind with my friends that there is no way that I will be able to go back and ketch up. What is going on with all of you? What have I missed anything good?

I miss you all and I hope to be able to leave a long report about what I have been up to soon.

( What's been going on with me? )

This is going to be another post about me bitching about my mom, so if you don't want to read that just skip over it.

Last Friday, when I was sick, I got a call from my sister asking me to baby-sit my nephew. Well, my hubby was baby-sitting, I was tying not to get him sick. Come to find out she had to leave work that afternoon because she got a call from a friend of my dad. He had went out to the house to get something for him and the landlords were going through the house and throwing things in to garbage bags. Apparently my mom has not spoken to them sense, um, October. She had paid rent through the end of December, but told them that everything would be out by the first of December. WTF???? The sale was not even until the 2nd week in December. I don't even want to think about that cluster fuck. When my sister called mom to tell her what was going on mom told her to handle it. Fucking Bitch! This is her house, her things, her family heirlooms, and she doesn't seem to give a shit. It is not Holly's job. She is a single mom. She works up to 50 hours a week, and still has to find time to spend time with her son. I am so pissed off at her right now. She never goes to see Dad, Holly does. Holly buys more things for Dad than she does. I HATE her boyfriend. He has a reputation of being abusive. She never wants to spend time with any of us. I really can't remember the last time she did anything with me that didn't have to do with family stuff. We use to be close, and I miss that. I was talking to a girl at work about it and I broke down into tears. God, sometimes I hate her, but I still love her. I spent an hour talking to my sister in Chicago about how much we both miss are mom. We were the mommy's girls. I think that we both feel a little adrift with out her. It kills me that she doesn't want to spent time with my son. She spends her weekends drinking. She use to care about what is going on in our lives. On my birthday she called to wish me a happy birthday. Not only did she wake me up, but she didn't even have any thing to say. She talked about the weather, the fucking weather. I felt like a got a better Happy Birthday from my friends list, and she is my mother. I don't know what to do. I mean how do you tell your mother that you think she is a drunken, whore, bitch, and that she needs to grow up and act her age. One of my sisters wants to write her an e-mail, but is afraid that it is to impersonal. My normal way of dealing with things like this is to ignore it until it goes away, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

I was so sick yesterday. I actually called in sick to work. I can't remember the last time I did that. I have worked at the daycare for almost 2 years and this is the first time that I have called in sick. I woke up about 2 am throwing up. I couldn't hardly drag my self out of bed at all yesterday. I feel better now. I am just really swore. I was scheduled to go to work today at Taco John's at 7 am but my sister changed my schedule so that I don't have to go in until 10. Oh, that is in like 20 min I better get ready to go. Remind my that I have to tell you about the newest drama with my mom!

I know that I am a little late. In fact it in now the 2nd. I just want to say how much you guys have meant to me over this year. Last year I made a resolution to write more in my journal. I had know idea how much you guys would come to mean to me. You guys have been there for me through some pretty though times, with my dad and my job. It was great to know that I could pour out my feelings, and someone was there to listen. Most of the time I felt better just knowing that you guys were out there. I love you guys so very much, and I have not met any of you in RL.

This year my resolution in to start writing more fanfiction. I have started by signing up for a fest. I am a little scared about that, but I think that I can do it. I also though that it would be nice, if you want to, for me to try to write something for you guys. I would like to take some prompts. Something really simple to start with. I have 3 days off from work, so I have time to write. So what do you think? Do you want to give me a prompt? I am not promising that anything that I write will be any good, but I would like to try.

Homophobia is wrong.
don't you think?

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

I am the person who got married to a man for five years because her mother would be too disappointed if she confirmed that she was a lesbian.

I am the man who feels uncomfortable with things like this as I hate the reminder that everything I am makes some people want to kill me because I need someone I love.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it and you don't have to be gay to do so.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged.

( 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals )

I don't know who to tag so if you are reading this you are it.

For my family Christmas has always been about Family. We spend Christmas Eve together and Christmas Day. Christmas Eve has always been a big deal. There is a lot of food. We turn out all of the lights and watch a Christmas movie together. Most of the time it ends up being two movies. It is not about to gifts, it is about spending time together. I knew that this year would be a little diffrent, but I guess I still thought it would be about family.

We had Christmas Eve at my sister's home. She did the best she could. All of my sisters were there, but Mom was late. She spent no time helping my sister get things ready. In fact she spent all day with her boyfriend and then was an hour late. Then she had to leave before the movie was over because her boyfriend had to do something. They said that they would be back in an hour. An hour and a half later we had to go home so that my son could go to bed, and she still was not back. In total I got to spend an hour and a half with my mom. I thought I was ok with it. I mean I know that my mom is selfish. That is just who she is. I woke up at three am so pissed off at her that I couldn't sleep.

Today wasn't that bad. I got good gifts. I was even able to show off the great gift that my hubby got for me. Dad was able to be there and that was great!! He was in good spirit and I think that he really had fun. Then I was told that BTW I have to watch my nephew so that my mom and two of my sisters can go out. I wasn't asked if it was ok. They just assumed that it was. I am totally like WTF. I am really pissed off and feel left out, again.

Yeah, I am going to stop there before I start crying.

Really, I hope that all of you had great Christmases. So does any one have a great Christmas story to tell me that will cheer me up? Let me hear it!

I am so behind on my IJ it is not funny. I am not ignoring any on I just don't seem to have any time. I know that there are WIP that I want to read the new parts. If you do have a wip that you know that I have been reading can you let me know if you have updated. I hope to get around to reading everything. I am just not sure when.

I do want to send out a big Thank you to angela_snape. I got your lovely Christmas gift and I loved it. It is a lovely addition to my books.

Merry Christmas to all!!!

I just wanted to pop in and say hi. Things have been kind of crazy around here. I have been spending all of my free time helping my sister get her place ready to host Christmas for the family.

I want to say thank you for all of the Christmas cards I have gotten! They have really made my holiday brighter. Thank you Sweets, Alaana, Accioslash(I loved the book mark), Akuma_river(Anything Snarry or Harry/Draco/Snape. I think you know what I like),Thanfiction(Funny story about getting your card. Hubby was a little freaked out about me getting a card from a guy. I told him who you were and then He said that I can't lose the card because he really likes the art. LOL). I love you all and hope you have a great Holiday!!

I would like to start off by saying just ignore my stress induced post this morning. Not the one about the fest, but the other one. As I said in that post my mom and dad's estate sale was today and I have a habit of displacing stress. I had a talk with Hubby and he was the one to point that out to me. I am so glad that he knows me better than I know my self sometimes.

I spent all morning in tears about the sale. The sale it self was a big cluster fuck. They took things from the house that was not to be sold, and left things that were. My mom and sister went to the action house last night to mark the things that were not to be sold, but we still had to buy back family heirlooms. We only stayed long enough to get a friend of dad's to act as our family buyer. Then my sister went later and there were more things that she had to buy back that we had missed before. Again things that they were not to take to sell. She had to buy things that that I had pulled out for my son. I will tell you seeing things that were not to be sold out for any one to touch just about killed me. I mean they took things like my dad's flag from hem he retired, and the tri-corner hat that my mom made for my son out of a cheep straw hat. They dug in the attic and the closets and they were not suppose to. They took the doll house my dad mad for us when we were little. My sister had to pay a lady $50 for a family heirloom that was marked not to sell because they sold it before she got there, and the lady acted all pissy with her. I am glad my sister was there she can be a real bitch when she wants to be.

It is done and over with now. If it is gone we are not getting it back now.

It is Saturday and I woke up at 7:30 am and could not go back to sleep. That is not normal for me. I know what it is, I am stressed. It is less than two week until Christmas and I am broke. Not my son will get fewer presents but I can't even pay my bills. I keep doing math in my head and come up with nothing. I am not sure what I am going to do. I guess I could hold out for a "Christmas miracle". Did you catch the sarcasm there. I work with a woman that has gotten so many Christmas gifts from the community that she could almost not buy any gifts for her kid. I know that she has done nothing, and people are just giving them to her, but, damn. The part of me that is bitter says that it is because her husband left her, and he is a dead beat. And people look at my family and think that because I have my husband that we are ok. My hubby has not work since he was diagnosed in Feb. of '07. He can't work. I am the only income. I make just over minimum wage. Even with my 2nd job I don't get payed until after Christmas. I just don't know what I am going to do.

Today is also the day of my parents' sale. Today I get to watch all of the things that my parents have collected over the years get sold off one peace at a time. Yeah, I am a little stressed.

Hi all!! I am at work on break, and I have 15 min left. That is not enough time to start reading anything. I feel like I am so far behind on my f-list. Especally on IJ. I read LJ and than it is to late to even start on IJ. If I have missed anything important just let me know. Other wise I will get around to reading it, someday.

Yesterday the daycare closed at 1 pm and you would think that I could play catch up then, but the weather had the internet down until 8 pm. Instead I took a nap!! That was nice. I can't remember the last time I could take a nap.

I am so in love with my new fandom, House. But the other day I was reading a House/Wilson story and House turned into Snape in my head. Has that happened to any one else?

Speaking of House, I loved last nights episode. My fave part: House asking Wilson if he had ever cheeked the price of Fireman strippers and Wilson said YES!

So I have had a lot of shit going on.

( My life. )
Well, yeah, that is my life.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my f-list!!

Well the day is almost over. It was very different from any Thanksgiving that my family has ever had. We rented a house to have Thanksgiving at. It is wheel chair assessable so my dad could be there. That was awesome. Because we rented such a big house we invited a ton of people. I think my mom counted their were 31 people there. My dad invited his family there. I know I shouldn't say it but his family is all white trash, well most of them. His sister came up and she is cool. My mom invited a lot of her friends, including one of her "special friends". My brother in-law came. My sister invited friends from work and their families. It had the potential to being very explosive. It turned out really good. We had a lot of fun. Everyone brought something. We ended up with lots of pie and wine. I don't have a taste for wine so that was not something I had. The food was great, and one of the best parts was that the people in charge of the house do most of the clean up. My hubby got to see my dad for the first time sense the stroke, and I think it was good for him. I have been trying to tell him how bad Dad is, but he never got it until today.

The only bad thing was that my sis had her wallet stolen at the Thanksgiving party. She thinks she way know who did it. She did call the cops and report it.

I came home and to a nap. Then Hubby, Mike and I watch "Hancock". Hubby bought it today. Hubby and Mike thought it was a good buy, I am not so sure. It is the kind of movie that I would only watch once. Mike loved it, but he loves any thing with a superhero in it. I did like that it was very clean. Very little blood, and really minimal violence, and cussing.

Really a good day. Tomorrow my mom, two of my sisters and I are going out to the house to pack up what is left to be saved and not actioned off. That also has the potential to be bad. Wish me luck!!

To everyone who is stuffing their faces today: